B12 and my disconnection with reality

Can you imagine for a moment, not being able to figure out if you are real!? Not knowing if you are where you think you are, if you are awake or not? I mean legitimately not knowing. It’s terrifying and it happened to me. Let me give you a little history, so you can understand how I found myself (or couldn't find myself) in this situation.

For ten years I had suffered from terrible gut pain every single day. I was nauseous every time I ate. It was becoming difficult to breath after eating at a restaurant, and every date night dinner ended with me in a ball of pain. It was miserable and yet at the same time, it was my normal. I’d had a stomach ache every day for ten years. On two occasions I was positive that volcanic acid was spewing from my stomach throughout my intestines and burning holes in every tissue in my gut. The first time it happened I went straight to my doctor where I was presented with a prescription to reduce the production of stomach acid. I don’t remember if I ever filled that prescription but I never did take the pills. The second time it happened, I was trying to get ready for a very rare date night with my Husband (rare because three kids), when I found myself in so much pain I couldn’t get off the bed. That time we cancelled dinner and went straight to the emergency room. We sat there for a few hours waiting. Long enough for the volcanic eruption to stop, and we left without being seen.

Back then; I didn’t know much about food sensitivities. I had heard the term lactose intolerant and that’s about it! For those ten years I was in a constant state of inflammation, which eventually developed into an anxiety disorder. It was the anxiety that finally brought me to a naturopath after many years of looking for answers I wasn’t getting elsewhere. The first test we did was a food sensitivity test and the results were copious! Not only was it a long list of foods I was reacting to, but also it was the foods I ate most regularly. When someone in our house asked what’s for dinner, they would say, what kind of chicken are we having?! It is said that the foods you eat most often are the ones that you will become sensitive to. There is a real reason for this, and I’ll get into food sensitivities in another blog, as well as the connection to anxiety. Needless to say I had to cut out nearly all the foods I normally ate and learn to eat differently. Once I removed those foods that were creating inflammation, I immediately noticed a difference in how I felt. The severity and frequency of the gut pain decreased and when I did experience pain or a reaction to food I could tell what it was coming from. I stopped eating at certain restaurants’ that cooked with heavy butter and cream, when I did eat out I would ask for my food to be cooked specifically to avoid reactions. I felt so much better, but I knew I still had room to improve, so I decided to follow a strictly vegan diet. I removed any remaining animal products from my diet. It was the best break my digestive tract could have had. My skin looked better, I lost weight, I NEVER had any gut pain, and I never felt heavy or tired after a meal. For the first time in ten years I forgot what a stomach-ache felt like, and it wasn’t until I had accidentally or unknowingly consumed something I was sensitive to that I would be quickly, and painfully, reminded. I had never felt better!

My decision to eat a vegan diet happened two years before I experienced my aha moment and decided to pursue an education in Natural Nutrition. I had purchased plenty of vegan cookbooks and read a lot of articles about being a healthy vegan. I began following a few vegan "vloggers" that I really enjoyed on YouTube, learning about fully raw Veganism and following some who were completely vegan but not necessarily the healthiest version. Even in my post-educated opinion, I was doing a pretty good job at being a healthy vegan, with one exception. I was not supplementing Vitamin B12.

First I want to share with you what I started experiencing, and then we’ll get into why it happened. I started to have these moments, where I wasn’t sure if I was real. Quite literally, I would be driving down the highway and would be blinking repeatedly in an attempt to sort of, wake myself up. I was not tired or falling asleep but I could not decipher if I was there in that moment, or if I was dreaming. I could not focus on the road. I also started waking up each night to go to the bathroom, and I would sit there (as a lady does) and I would be blinking again, opening my eyes as wide as possible, touching my legs, pinching even, to be sure I was not actually sleeping and about to pee the bed my husband was sleeping in! I’m almost positive he would still love me, however these attempts to wake myself up were in panic. I thought I was losing my mind. Can you imagine not knowing for sure whether you are awake or not, while you are DRIVING!? My symptoms gradually became that extreme, but when they did it was terrifying and while it didn’t seem to take very long to get there, the storage of B12 had likely been depleting during all those years of digestive troubles. It might have been six months from the time I stopped eating meat to when these symptoms were noticeable, and even then they continued for months before I saw a naturopath and began supplementing properly.

In the beginning of my treatment, I would go to the naturopath once a week to have a B-complex dripped into my body through an IV. After that first month I went once every two weeks until I felt good again and could manage a daily B-complex on my own. It wasn’t until I was in school and learning about vitamin deficiencies that I truly connected the dots between B12 deficiencies and my disconnection with reality.

It is important to know that B vitamins are not stored well in the body and need to be consumed daily through food and/or supplements, and that deficiencies of any B vitamin can happen very easily. It is also important to know that supplementing B’s must always been done in a complex because taking one of the B vitamins alone can deplete any one of the other B vitamins in the body. A deficiency can easily occur if a persons diet is high in refined and processed foods and low in nutrients. Our gut bacteria also plays a role in producing some of our B vitamins, depending of course, on the health of your gut bacteria and the guts ability to produce the enzyme required to absorb it. Sometimes the problem is not the supply of B12 but rather the inability to absorb it, however, our bodies are mainly dependant on food sources. B- vitamins in nature are found together in foods and never alone, as our supplements should mimic. A few foods rich in B-complex are Brewers yeast or Nutritional yeast, berries, legumes, egg yolk, liver, pork, dark green vegetables, avocado and fatty fish. B12 however is found mainly in animal foods. If we remove eggs, fish, dairy and all other animal meats, we’ve essentially removed B12 from our diets. Attention new Vegans..

Let's make the connection!

B-vitamins have numerous functions in the body. They act as a catalyst (spark), helping other biochemical reactions to take place in the body. They help the body convert carbohydrates into glucose for energy, they are important for the metabolism of fats and proteins, for healthy skin and hair, and proper digestion. B-vitamins are essential for normal function of the nervous system and for the health and maintenance of the nerve tissues. B12 is required for the proper formation of the tissues that surround the nerves. Think of the electrical wires in your home. They are housed in a jacket to keep them protected and to maintain the quality of the wire, without leaving them open to interference. In the same way, your nerves are protected by the myelin sheath. The nerves are kept safe, with no interference or possibility of “fraying”, and the communication being sent through those nerves, or wires, can flow without interference. B12 is also required in the production of red blood cells. This is important because in a deficient body, we form large sticky red blood cells, leading to forms of anemia, with symptoms of fatigue and weakness, memory and mood changes, mental slowness, decreased sensory perceptions and on the extreme - sensory hallucinations (hello disconnection with reality)!

This is where my experience is directly connected to a B12 deficiency. Lets go back a little bit and recall:

• I had been experiencing gut pain for 10 years.

• My intestines were in a constant state of irritation and inflammation.

• My gut bacteria was not in a healthy balance and most likely not producing the vitamins it should have been capable of producing.

• Nor was I properly digesting OR absorbing the nutrients from my food.

• I began experiencing anxiety as far back as my early 20’s. My experiences were few and far between.

• Around 30 years old, my anxiety became a true disorder.

• By my vegan 32 years old it was completely out of control.

• By 33 years old I was experiencing this disconnection with reality.

The fact that my body was deficient to such an extent that I was experiencing a disconnection with reality is truly scary, not only because of the experiences I had, but because left untreated a B12 deficiency can lead to brain and spinal degeneration that can be linked to some very serious and fatal diseases, spanning all neurological breakdown from mood disorders like anxiety and depression to Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s and Dementia. If you struggle with digestion issues or mental health and mood imbalance, or have experienced any of the symptoms discussed here, please know that there is likely a nutrient deficiency happening in your body, and that it can often be supported through live, natural, good quality whole foods and supplements where need be.

One thing to remember, you are not necessarily what you eat. You are what you absorb!